What Do You Actually Want? How to Find Career Clarity When You Feel Stuck
If you’ve been asking yourself:
“What do I want to do next?”
…and coming up blank, you’re not alone.
This is one of the most common questions I hear from the women I work with. Smart. Accomplished. Successful on paper.
And yet… something feels off.
Not dramatically wrong.
Not crisis-level.
Just… misaligned.
Why It’s So Hard to Figure Out What You Want
Most people assume the problem is a lack of options.
But in my experience, that’s rarely the issue.
The real issue is disconnection.
You’ve been:
Meeting expectations
Delivering results
Pushing through
For so long…and so hard…
That you’ve lost touch with what actually fuels you.
So when you sit down and ask,
“What do I want?”
Your brain goes quiet.
Or worse… it hands you answers you think you should want.
The Questions That Change Everything
Instead of asking:
“What should I do next?”
Try asking:
“When have you felt most alive at work?” and What made these experiences so satisfying?
These are very different questions.
And it leads you somewhere much more useful.
A Better Way to Find Career Clarity
One of the most helpful frameworks I use with clients comes from Tara Mohr, who introduces the idea of “Core Nutrients” in her book Playing Big.
Core Nutrients are the elements that make you feel most alive, energized, and engaged in your work.
Not what looks good on paper.
Not what impresses other people.
But what actually sustains you.
Examples might include:
Creativity
Autonomy
Depth of thinking
Collaboration
Learning
Meaningful impact
When these are present, work feels different.
When they’re missing, even a “great” job can start to feel draining.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
If you don’t know your Core Nutrients, you’ll keep trying to solve the wrong problem
You might:
Change jobs… and feel the same way six months later
Take on more responsibility… and feel even more depleted
Keep pushing… hoping it will click again
But without understanding what actually fuels you, you’re guessing.
And guessing doesn’t create clarity.
A Simple Way to Start Reconnecting
Try this:
Think of a time in your career or in your life when you felt:
Energized
Engaged
Like you were in your element
Now ask yourself:
👉 What was present in that experience?
👉 What specifically made it feel that way?
Then flip it:
Think of a time that felt draining or frustrating.
👉 What was missing?
This is how you begin to identify your Core Nutrients.
Not intellectually.
But experientially.
From Awareness to Action
Once you start to see your patterns, something shifts.
You move from:
👉 “I have no idea what I want”
To:
👉 “I know what I need more of”
And that’s where things start to open up.
Because now you have something to work with.
But Here’s Where Most People Get Stuck Again
They think:
“Okay… now I need to figure out the perfect plan that gives me all of this.”
And they stop moving.
Again.
This is where I see people stall out, even after doing the deeper reflection work.
Clarity Doesn’t Come From Thinking Alone
Once you have some insight into what you need, the next step isn’t more analysis.
It’s action.
Small, intentional action.
I talk more about this here:
👉 Clarity Doesn’t Come First. It Comes From Action
Because clarity isn’t something you finalize in your head.
It’s something you refine through movement.
And If Your Brain Starts Spiraling…
This process can bring up a lot.
Doubt.
Second-guessing.
Overthinking.
If that’s happening, you’re not doing it wrong.
You’re human.
And you might find this helpful:
👉 When You’re Spiraling About What’s Next, Try This
And If Your Inner Critic Gets Loud…
That voice that says:
“You should have figured this out by now”
“Don’t mess this up”
“Be practical”
That’s part of the process too.
Here’s something to support you there:
👉 How to Give Yourself a Break (If You’re an Overachiever)
You Don’t Need a Perfect Answer
If you’re feeling stuck, the goal isn’t to land on one perfect, final answer.
It’s to reconnect with yourself.
To understand what fuels you.
And then to start making small moves in that direction.
That’s how clarity gets built.
Ready to Start Figuring Out What You Want?
If this is the question you’ve been circling:
“What do I actually want?”
You don’t have to answer it all at once.
But you can start.
If you’re curious what it would look like to explore this with support, I offer a free 30-minute exploratory conversation.
No pressure. Just a space to think, reconnect, and begin to move forward.
